We're like a lot better than the average bears
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
