Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
