Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
