I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
