i can't believe i had my finger in that
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
