It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
