How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Randomize
