Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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