If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
