Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
so much tequila, so little girl.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
