my mouth tastes like poor choices
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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