It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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