How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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