Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
