I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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