i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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