Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He has the fingertips of a God
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