wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
