The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
