before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
