She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize