i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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