just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
should my penis look like a turkey
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
