I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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