On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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