Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
