I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize