my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
