Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
