Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
