I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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