Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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