He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize