Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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