): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
