your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
