Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
