Will you blow on my dice?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
