Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize