Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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