This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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