in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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