at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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