I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
