I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
