i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
birth control should be required to get into college
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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