He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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