omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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