They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I got inside last night via doggy door
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
