You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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