Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
