not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
