i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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