I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
