i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
