The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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