"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
