I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
