dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
