it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It's just like the Real World with babies
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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