After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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