No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
