I didn't shave. On purpose
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize