We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
how can u be prego again
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
of course. lets lasso hookers.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
