She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
