he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
