i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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