weddingsv make me drug and hornr
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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