this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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