between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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