either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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