we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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