Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize